


god, fuck, this is so very bad

by john_lennon_was_hecking_hot



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Arcadia Bay (Life is Strange), Bisexual Character, Bisexual Male Character, Blackwell Academy (Life is Strange), Character Development, Character Study, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Family Issues, Game: Life is Strange (2015), Gay Character, Gay Panic, Good Nathan Prescott, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Nathan Prescott Needs a Hug, Nathan Prescott Redemption, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:14:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 7,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25153009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/john_lennon_was_hecking_hot/pseuds/john_lennon_was_hecking_hot
Summary: And there’s Warren standing right next to them. His hair is as messy as always but the light makes it look a bit golden. The sunlight makes his eyes look like honey too. The bruise on his face is a dark purple now and it melts into his skin like it belongs there. He’s frowning and playing with one of his sleeves.Nathan wishes he could take a picture of him right now.Just for like… photography purposes.
Relationships: Warren Graham/Nathan Prescott
Comments: 28
Kudos: 70





	1. (っ•﹏•)っ ✴==≡눈٩(`皿´҂)ง

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan wants to eat.  
> Warren wants to work in peace.  
> Maybe it's not that bad.

Nathan’s clothes were soaked when he finally got to the door of the Two Whales. He opened it and was welcomed by the _oh so_ sweet smell of breakfast. Thankfully his booth was empty so he shuffled somewhat awkwardly towards it and sat dawn. His fingers started filling with warmth, _finally_. He looked outside, the rain was hitting hard against the windows. The slow rumble was comforting in a way.

He heard someone clearing their throat next to him. Nathan’s body flinched involuntarily as he quickly turned around. There was the _golden boy_ in all his glory and a rather dirty apron.

‘ _Gayram_ ’

A sigh.

‘Hi, welcome to Two Whales what can I get for you today?’

Warren’s fingers were fiddling with the corner of the notepad he was clutching.

Nathan looked him up and down not so subtly. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was disheveled, a complete mess. The sneakers he had on had mud _like_ all over them, _kinda gross_.

‘You look like you _ran_ to get here Gayram’

Another sigh.

His hand went to the back of his neck.

‘Could you just tell me your order’

Warren looked a bit roughed up, like he _really_ did run to get here.

‘Please’

He was anxiously biting his lip now.

Nathan felt just as tired as Warren looked. Maybe he could hold back a little bit or something today. He didn’t feel like giving shit Warren that much anyway, it felt more like an automatic response than an actual attempt at being mean. It was his turn to sigh.

‘Yeah uh, it will be just waffles with blueberries and syrup’

Relief on his face.

Warren started scribbling the order down.

‘Anything else?’

‘Um, an orange juice’

He looked at Warren once again. The boy really didn’t look so good.

Nathan could hear the low and dangerous rumble of the thunderstorm outside.

_God, this is so shitty._

‘Coming right up’

Nathan looked out of the window once again. It was quite dark outside, the blue of the ocean was blending in with the grayish sky.

It wasn’t a good day. He woke up feeling a bit more panicky than usual, something felt really off but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He took a shower yet the sensation didn’t go away. It felt even worse after he got in his car and started driving towards the diner. Everything felt so exhausting too, taking a breath felt like the most tiring thing in the world. It was going to be a long day and Nathan knew it from the moment he woke up. He even had his _clothes that bring me some type of comfort but are kinda ugly_ outfit on which consisted of a very worn out grey hoodie, black pants and converse. It didn’t help that much though considering Nathan still felt shaky and _oh so very_ out of place. He was playing with one of his sleeves absently. He felt so tired yet restless at the same time.

His thoughts shifted towards Mark and he felt his stomach sinking in the worst way possible.

_God, don’t throw up before breakfast you pussy._

He started shaking his leg subconsciously. Mark wanted to see him today and if Mark wanted to see him so immediately and out of nowhere it couldn’t be good. The last time, he couldn’t remember the last time at all and-

‘There you go’

Warren was putting the plate right in front of him on the table. He set down the orange juice next to it and smiled awkwardly.

‘If you’d like anything else let me know’

Nathan looked down at his breakfast.

‘Thanks’

Warren smiles, kinda dopey n’ shit.


	2. ((╬◣﹏◢))    (this is me being mad @ myself for making nate suffer so much in this story)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad things happen to Nathan.  
> Bit of a character study.

Nathan drives to meet Mark, he’s running a bit late because of the breakfast but it’s not like it matters. Something is awfully off and Nathan can feel himself tremble a little, his body not being able to compress the amount of anxiety he’s feeling. He pulls up next to _the_ barn. He turns off the engine and takes his keys out of the ignition. 

Mark’s car is parked to his left but he isn’t inside of it. 

That means only one thing. 

Nathan thinks about driving off. About how wonderful it would be to feel so free and unbothered, to be able to just leave whenever he wants to with no consequences. He looks at the barn again and closes his eyes. Just pretends he’s somewhere else for a second. 

_Fuck._

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

He knows what’s going to happen. Can feel it in his bones. But he has to go, _fuck fuck fuck_ , he has to. 

He grabs the door handle with his shaking hand and gets outside. 

He realises that he’s been walking only when he’s at the top of the stairs. 

He looks down anxiously, he hears footsteps.

_Click_

Nathan shivers and forces himself to keep on walking. 

‘ _Nathan_ ’

His voice is dangerously low but soft at the same time. It makes Nathan feel nauseous.

‘Hi Mark’

Jefferson is standing in the middle of the room with a camera in his hand. Everything is set up and ready but there’s no one else besides them there.

Nathan feels his stomach sinking again. He knows what’s going to happen. It always does. He feels so stuck, he doesn't think he’s even capable of moving right now. There’s a lump in his throat and he wants to cry so bad but he _won’t_. He never does. He always takes it, lets it happen, lets himself lose control. Everytime afterwards he wishes he didn’t let it happen. But in the end he always does. He can’t help it.

And what would he do if he just ran away? There was nowhere to hide, there was no one that could or would even consider helping him and nobody would believe in a word he says.

So he can’t help it.

On one of the shelves there’s a folder that’s shoved behind the other ones. You can’t really see it when you’re standing right in front of the bookshelf unless you know it’s there. It’s thicker than the others but it’s labeled just like the rest. With a name.

_Nathan_

‘Nathan’

He shifts his gaze. Mark has moved on from whatever he was doing and is now standing with his back to him next to _the_ tray. 

‘I know we usually don’t talk about this but I want you to know you’re a very unique model.’

Mark’s lifting his arms, he’s holding _it_.

‘Nobody captures pain and loneliness quite effortlessly and beautifully as you.’

And there it is.

Nathan’s defenses crumble underneath Mark’s gaze. 

His heart flutters.

He hates himself for still feeling this way about the _compliments_. 

He feels gross and disgusted with himself and it all comes crashing down so suddenly he feels his breath quicken. He still can’t move, can’t make a sound. Can’t do anything but stand there like he always fucking does and let it happen. 

He feels the familiar sting and blacks out.


	3. (っ´ω`)ﾉ(╥ω╥)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just.. a lot of pain..  
> but warren's a stubborn little shit, he will continue to try  
> ipromise

Nathan’s hands are shaking so bad he barely manages to open the front door leading to the boys’ dormitory. He has to try three times before he finally gets the key in. 

__

The moon is hidden beneath the clouds but the light still seeps through them lazily. It’s drizzling and Nathan shivers from the cold.

_ 'Fuck _ ’

He feels like he’s going to throw up any second now. He left his hoodie on accident in the- there and he’s only in a thin t-shirt. 

He feels  _ violated _ and gross and like he needs a twenty year long shower before he can feel anything like himself. 

He gets in,  _ finally _ and goes straight to his dorm room.

He unlocks the door. The blinds are still up just how he left them in the morning.

Nathan grabs his showering kit and a change of clothes and heads to the bathroom.

_ Everything’s fine _ . 

He showers, cleans himself as much as he can, tries to wash off the  _ feeling _ .

He dries himself with the towel he brought and starts putting on clothes. He’s pulling a shirt on when he touches his neck and  _ feels it _ .

Just a tiny little bruise. _A bump_.

He tenses up, feels himself shutting down, feels all of it again and he _ can’t breathe _ . He’s trying so hard and he wonders for a brief moment if he took his meds today because he’s going through a panic attack and he can tell just how bad it is by the way a dry sob escapes his lips involuntarily. He can feel how wet his cheeks are and he hears himself trying to force air into his lungs but there’s also a faint ringing sound and everything sounds muffled and  _ wrong _ .

The door to the bathroom opens and he’s trying to stay quiet but  _ can’t,  _ it feels almost impossible. 

Whoever walked in is saying something and it sounds kind of like a question but it’s so far away he can’t even force himself to focus on it. 

He feels sick again. He feels sick and dirty and disgusting and it feels like he’s dying but he’s just standing there in the middle of the shower with his shirt not quite on, crying like a fucking baby and-

Warren’s standing right in front of him. It takes him a second to focus on him enough to notice that he’s frowning and talking. He’s really close and there’s that sinking feeling in Nathan’s stomach again like something  _ bad _ is about to happen and he flinches. Warren stops talking and looks even more concerned and reaches out and- that’s it.

‘ _ No  _ ’

He forces it out and it’s quiet and it doesn’t feel like he’s the one who’s actually saying it but Warren must have heard him because he stops his hand midair and says something.

It’s so muffled,  _ jesus fucking christ  _ but he tries to listen, tries to focus on it.

‘With me, yeah? It’s gonna be okay I promise but I need you to just breathe with me, come on.’

Warren’s looking at him all worried but Nathan listens. He’s trying to slow it down, to get it to go back to normal. 

He somewhat manages but then he’s hit with another wave of nausea. 

He dry heaves on the bathroom floor.

Warren’s still there. He doesn’t try to touch him again but Nathan knows that he’s there and somehow that makes him feel a little better. 

Maybe fifteen minutes pass before he actually calms down enough to be able to talk to Warren. It’s not like he’s feeling up for it though. Warren has been talking to him pretty much nonstop since he came inside the bathroom and it’s been surprisingly..  _ nice _ ? Perhaps even more comforting than grounding.

‘Are you better now?’

Warren’s kind of  _ staring _ at him and it’s a little bit overwhelming but he kind of doesn’t mind too because Warren has really nice eyes which,  _ uh _ , Nathan hasn’t noticed before. 

He scrunches up his nose. 

_ What the fuck Nathan.  _

_ Calm down there buddy. _

‘Uh, yeah’

It comes out kind of weird, his voice croaks midword and it sounds breathy and wrong. 

‘I don’t mean to pry or anything, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or something but uh, if you ever feel like talking to someone but don’t have anyone to listen just know that I'm here’

Warren frowns again and looks _very_ out of place and awkward. 

‘Oh and um, I don’t know if you’d be okay with that but can I like’

Warren looks away for a second and Nathan studies his face for a second. He looks around ten times more tired now than he did in the morning.

‘Could I maybe stay in your room for a bit? Or maybe you’d wanna stay in mine? I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable but you kinda freaked me out dude’

He rubs his neck awkwardly. 

Nathan suddenly feels embarrassed.

_ What the fuck Nathan? _

‘No, I’m good’

Warren frowns even harder.

‘Dude what? You’re clearly not good and I’d normally give you space but I’m honestly kinda freaked out myself. Like what if you get like that again or need something or if you’re gonna be alone like that-’

‘I’m  _ fine _ , it’s fine. Leave it.’

‘But what if-’

‘ _ Graham _ . I’m okay.’

Warren purses his lips. Looks a bit more annoyed than concerned now.

‘Right. I’ll go then.’ 

He gets up.

‘Warren?’

He turns around.

‘Anyone find out about this and your ass is grass.’


	4. (；⌣̀_⌣́)

The sunlight warms his skin enough to wake him up. His eyes feel puffy and he feels _fucking_ sluggish. He groans and hides his head in his pillow.

_ This sucks. _

He opens his eyes and decides to get up. _ Better now than later. _

He goes to grab his phone from his couch where he left it. There’s a piece of paper lying next to his door. It looks like someone pushed it through the crack underneath it. 

Nathan picks it up reluctantly. 

_ Text me if you need anything  _

_ 202-358-1900 _

_ W. _

Right.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a little preview or smth since im gonna be switching to warren's pov in the next chapters (or at least im planning on doing so)  
> also ive decided that the chapter titles r gonna be kaomojis only from now on (i think im gonna change the chapter names before this one as well lmao)  
> ty for reading  
> bye bye


	5. ( ˘▽˘)っ♨    [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> food

Warren’s sitting at his desk. He has about twenty minutes before he has to get up for work but he really doesn’t want to. He feels like _shit_ , pretty much. But responsibilities are responsibilities so with a sigh he stands up. 

He has barely gotten any sleep. It wasn’t like Nathan was the reason for it but um, _yeah_ , Nathan was pretty much the reason for it. Warren was still a little bit freaked out but it felt so good to finally help someone. To feel kind of needed instead of feeling like a useless dumbass. The past few weeks made him feel so entirely exhausted with, _well_ , everything.

He wondered what was troubling Nathan so much. He had a reputation of being an absolute asshole with rich parents who basically owned Arcadia Bay but Warren didn’t really know much about him besides that. He liked drugs and photography? Warren was pretty sure that’s what he heard from Max. 

He settled on leaving a note with his phone number under Nathan’s door. Just in case. He wasn’t overthinking it. _Right_? No, not at all.

A sigh.

He looked in the mirror on his wall. His hair was going in different directions, he had dark circles under his eyes and he was still in the clothes he had on yesterday.

Sundays always seemed to be so long, like they’d go on forever. It was brighter outside than it was yesterday but the rain hasn’t stopped. Warren was never a fan of hot weather anyway.

He decided to take a quick shower before getting dressed and heading towards the diner. 

*******

Warren could hear Joyce humming a soft tune while he was opening the door.

_She always seems to be in a good mood, even on the most gloomy days._

‘Morning Joyce!’

She smiles at him warmly.

‘Good morning, did you get any good sleep tonight honey? You look very tired.’

Warren looks down at his feet.

_What is he supposed to say to that._

‘Um I went to bed late, that’s all. But I’m fine Joyce, I promise.’

He smiles at her. Her presence is so comforting and mother-like, it can be so relieving sometimes. It’s nice to have someone care about you like that.

‘Okay then sweetheart, it’d be great if you could wipe down the tables. Everything besides that is pretty much done.’

And with that she walks away to the kitchen. 

*******

Nathan comes in around 11.40 am, not that Warren checks the time when he does or anything, _not at all_. 

He’s wearing a different hoodie this time, a navy blue with some print on it but his hair isn’t slicked back like it usually is. Instead it falls on his forehead ands it’s kind of.. wavy?

_Looks better that way._

‘Hi _Gayram_ ’

_Oh woah, okay, so uh- they’re like, back to that, cool, yeah._

‘Hey um- what can I get for you?’

Nathan looks down at his hands that are playing with one of his sleeves. He scrunches his nose just a tiny bit and looks back at Warren. His eyes are kind of puffy and his cheeks have a slight blush to them. 

‘Same as yesterday’

‘Coming right up.’ 

And with that Warren leaves.

_Stupid_.

Why did he think Nathan would be any less of a douchebag today. 

*******

After Nathan leaves Warren heads towards his booth to clean it up. There’s a $20 tip lying next to the dirty plate.


	6. (@_☆)ヽ(`⌒´メ)ノ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> now we're getting into the canon story

‘Max Caulfield, right?’

Warren looks up. Nathan’s walking towards them. He looks kinda angry. Like. _Really fucking_ angry. 

_ Fuck _ , this can’t be good.

‘You’re one of the Jefferson’s photo groupies’

This is bad,  _ yeah _ , definitely not good.

Warren tries to move closer to Max but there’s a hand on his chest and _ oh _ , Nathan pushes him back.  _ Great _ .

‘I’m one of his students’

Shit Max, this  _ really _ isn’t the time to be snarky. 

‘Whatthefuckever. I know you like to take pictures, especially when you’re hiding out in the bathrooms. You best tell me wha-’

‘Nathan, dude, chill out. I’m sure we can uh- talk this out.’

Warren’s panicking a little bit. This looks  _ so _ very bad.  _ Fuck _ . Why does this shit always happen to him?

‘Don’t tell me what to do Gayram.’

Nathan literally growls at him. What the fuck is even happening. 

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about Nathan’

What did you get yourself into Max.  _ God. _

‘Don’t lie to me bitch!’

Okay, _ that's it _ .

‘Nathan stop’

Warren put himself between the two. 

‘Get the  _ fuck  _ away from me Graham.’

He’s very much in Warren’s space now.  _ Shit _ .

‘No,  _ you _ leave her alone. Whatever it is that you think she did, you can talk about it! But not like this, not now.’

_ Ouch. _

_ Fucking ouch. _

He gets punched right in his face. He falls down, it was  _ really _ fucking unexpected.

_ Thank you very much Nathan. Fuck you. _

‘Nobody tells me what to do! Not my parents, not the principal and certainly  _ not you _ Gayram!’

Nathan’s full on yelling now and Warren’s still on the ground and this  _ really _ isn’t good. He’s moving towards Max now.  _ Fuck _ .

Warren literally throws himself onto Nathan. Great. 

He can hear a car coming to a stop and Max’s getting in, okay,  _ okay  _ that's good.

Nathan’s above him and he looks  _ livid _ . His knee is digging into Warren’s stomach. 

_ Fucking shit fuck, fuck! _

He’s raising his hand. There we fucking go.

‘Fucking stop Nathan! Get off me, you’re hurting me dude!’

And that seems to do it. It’s like a switch has been flipped. Nathan’s face softens and he blinks a few times. He gets up and he looks like even he’s shocked by his own actions. 

Warren grimaces. His eye hurts like a bitch. Thanks again _ Nathan _ . He touches it and  _ fuck _ , that’s going to bruise for sure. He sighs.

Nathan’s still standing above him. He looks down at him one last time with a frown on his face, turns around and just walks away.

_ What the actual fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically I decided to get into the actual storyline now, even though I might change some lines and interactions - some things may be different from the canon. And of course we're not gonna end the story the way the producers did (╯︵╰,) but Nathan has to suffer a lot before we actually get to his redemption and development. I might mess up the chronological order of things along the way as well - sorry!! But I'm really leaning towards making this pretty long so everything is going to have to be slowed down. Sorry!!  
> Much love  
> ty for reading!


	7. ┐(￣～￣)┌

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes

Warren was walking towards the dorms. He felt so exhausted and it’s not like he did that much at work today anyway considering Joyce wouldn’t stop bugging him about his black eye. 

A sigh.

Warren didn’t get a text back from Max yet and he was getting a bit worried. If he wasn’t there when Nathan decided to talk to her it would’ve ended really bad. Well, _probably._

He was walking up the stairs now. 

Warren was more than ready to take a shower and go to sleep. It was only a bit past 10pm but his day seemed much longer than that.

He was unlocking the door to his room when he heard it.

_Right, well, I can’t keep doing this! It’s not like you give a shit anyway and I know it!’_

Was that… _Nathan?_

_‘No-I can’t do it anymore!’_

Nathan was pretty much _yelling_ at whoever he was talking to. He sounded really angry.

_‘Just-No! I can’t go back after you- ‘_

This day’s so _fucked_.

_‘I don’t want to-’_

Warren quietly moved towards the door to Nathan’s room.

Maybe this has something to do with Max?

_‘Please I promise I won’t tell anyone! Nobody would believe me anyway and you know it!’_

Nathan sounded.. _scared_ ? Kind of _desperate_ too. 

_‘There’s no way I’m coming back! I don’t give a fuck Mark! I’m never going back and-’_

_Mark??_

Warren thought about everyone named Mark in Blackwell. There was this one kid but Warren was pretty sure he wasn’t one of Nathan’s groupies and then there was… Mr. Jefferson?

Warren was way too fucking tired for this. 

_‘Over my dead fucking body Mark’_

There was a loud thud, Nathan probably threw something across his room. 

_‘FUCK’_

Okay Warren, this definitely isn’t the time to get in his space and make him even more mad. Time to leave probably.

Suddenly the door _fucking_ opens. 

_Jesus fucking christ_ , no _fucking_ way this is happening right now.

Nathan’s just standing there staring at him with pure shock on his face. There are a few hair strands flopping over his forehead and he’s wearing sweats and a big, comfy looking hoodie. His nose is red and so are his eyes, like he’s been crying. 

Warren’s just standing there, literally in front of his door.

Nathan’s mouth opens then closes. He wipes his face with his left sleeve. 

A sigh.

‘Why are you standing in front of my door Graham.’

Well, that’s a fairly good question.

‘Uhhh I was walking to my room and I heard a loud noise so I just thought I should check it out’

Nathan looks him up and down. He scrunches his nose and it kind of looks like he’s grossed out or something. 

_Ouch_.

‘Whatthefuckever’

And with that Nathan walks away towards the exit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just smoked so i hope everything in this chapter makes sense  
> sorry i havent posted a new chapter in a bit but i was very busy and had 0.00 alone time  
> as always,  
> ty for reading  
> :--)


	8. ( ఠ ͟ʖ ఠ)  凸(￣ヘ￣)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the canon plot.

‘All I know is that Kate was at a party and Nathan dosed her.’

_Fuck._

‘She got wasted and kissed some boys on a viral video without a clue.’

For once in his life Nathan decides to just shut the fuck up. He wants to get out of there as quickly as possible. He’s so exhausted. Just done with everything. 

Mark’s standing in the corner of the room. Waiting. Cautious and patient. 

_If they find out I’m gonna be fucked._

Wells looks at him expectantly.

He doesn’t say anything, just shifts his gaze towards the the window. The light pours through it and warms his skin. It gives everything a soft glow. 

‘How about we talk about you waving a gun in the girls’ bathroom-’

He turns his head around really fast when Max says that. 

_Dumb bitch._

He can _feel_ Mark’s eyes on him. 

This is so fucking bad. She’s gonna ruin everything.

‘Hey, that’s total slander! I could sue you and this school so fast-’

‘Careful, Mr. Prescott’

There’s ringing in his ears. It keeps getting louder.

His dad will get notified about this for sure.

He’s just so tired, he wants to disappear. He told Jefferson that he’d never come back again. He’s so fucking scared. There’s a whole fucking folder of _just_ him. One wrong move and all of it will be leaked. He knows it. That’s not even the worst thing that could happen and-

Mark’s voice brings him back to reality.

‘A friend and student just tried to kill herself… They don’t need this forum right now.’

And it’s all Nathan’s fault.

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck_.

  
  


*** * ***

  
  


Mark’s waiting for him right outside of the entrance to Blackwell. 

Nathan shivers even though he’s wearing two layers today.

He can feel his stomach sinking. There’s nothing he can do. 

He pulls the door open and steps outside. 

‘Nathan’

He can hear his own heartbeat. It’s so _fucking_ loud. Too loud.

He stops. Looks down at his feet.

‘We need to talk Nathan.’

He lifts his head up. The sun is blinding him but it makes everything look golden. It’s captivating.

His throat closes up. It’s getting hard to breathe.

‘There’s nothing to talk about.’

His voice breaks mid-sentence.

He takes a step forward. He wants to get out of here.

There’s a firm grip on his wrist.

‘You don’t actually think you can just leave, do you Nathan?’

He blinks.

The grip on his wrist tightens.

‘How do you think you will explain what you did to Rachel? Or Kate? Do you think there will be no consequences?’

Nathan looks at Mark.

He looks so calm. 

Nathan squirms under his gaze.

_Fuck._

‘Nathan?’

Mark takes his hand off of him.

And there’s Warren standing right next to them. His hair is as messy as always but the light makes it look a bit golden. The sunlight makes his eyes look like honey too. The bruise on his face is a dark purple now and it melts into his skin like it belongs there. He’s frowning and playing with one of his sleeves. 

Nathan wishes he could take a picture of him right now. 

_Just for like… photography purposes._

Mark clears his throat next to him and Nathan flinches slightly.

‘Come by my classroom tomorrow after school. We’ll need to discuss your grades further.’

He looks at Nathan for the last time and goes back inside.

Warren’s staring at him.

‘Are you okay?’

_What the fuck?_

He literally punched him in the face yesterday and Warren is asking if _he’s fine_? 

He reminds Nathan of a dog. No matter what he does Warren will still act like he gives a fuck. Golden boy with a golden heart. _Fuck that._

‘Not like you give a shit anyway.’

His voice sounds a little bit rough.

Warren’s concerned expression crumbles and he looks kind of irritated now.

_Good. Stay the fuck away Graham_.

Nathan walks past him towards the dorms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's a bit longer!!!  
> this is a REALLy slow burn but I'm trying to make it actually realistic. Whenever I feel like I should finally make them talk to each other I realise they aren't ready yet. Warren's heard quite a bit now so he's probably a little bit sus. Nathan's trying to get out asap but considering it's not going too well he will probably have to ask someone for help soon hehehehe (0spoilers) unless he's too stubborn ofc (¬‿¬ ) and that someone is gonna have to come to him first............  
> ty for reading!!!  
> much love  
> x


	9. ┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warren finally makes up his mind and Max is bothering Nathan.
> 
> The usual.

Warren can see and  _ hear  _ Max arguing with Nathan in the booth where he always eats breakfast. Not that Warren like,  _ pays attention _ to where he sits on anything.  _ Right. _

Nathan looks sort of worn out. Like something’s been bothering him for a while now and he can’t get rid of it. By the look of the dark circles under his eyes it’s been also keeping him awake. Warren can’t see Max from where he’s standing but Nathan seems  _ properly _ pissed. 

Warren thinks maybe it’s because he’s just kind of nosy but he wants to know what the fuck is going of with him. 

_ What the fuck was that shit with Jefferson anyway? _

It seems like suddenly no matter where he goes or what he does he ends up coming across Nathan.

_ Kinda like something’s pulling us together. _

Nathan catches him staring then. Warren doesn’t look away. 

_ This is so fucking weird. _

Max moves closer to Nathan and blocks Warren’s view. 

He blinks a few times.

_ Nathan’s the biggest fucking asshole Warren has ever met _ . But on the other hand it seems like he’s going through some shit and yeah, Warren’s a curious guy but he doesn’t want to risk getting punched again for trying to help someone. 

Except Nathan has been _ different  _ recently. Still really fucking mean and just overall a douchebag but  _ vulnerable _ too. Panicky and just.. really fucking off. 

Warren has tried to tell himself to let go of it twenty times now (not that he counted) but he just  _ couldn’t. _ It felt weird- admitting that to himself. He wanted to feel like it wasn’t his problem, like he could just pretend he didn’t see anything that he has in the past week. 

And he could. He could just choose not to care. 

_ It’d be easier, that’s for sure. _

He felt somewhat anxious about it. It wasn’t even any of his business.

_ Nathan’s gonna fucking kill me for sure. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote a chapter yesterday with their first proper interaction but I realised that once again - they aren't ready for it. 
> 
> However! Warren finally made up his mind and he's gonna be a nosy bitch from now on.
> 
> I also think I'll change the ending of LiS because I want it to be the turning point (ESPECIALLY BUT NOT ONLY) for Nathan. I feel like it's realistically the only thing that can bring them together (and it will i promise). So i'm going to change the ending but it's gonna be just as shit as the original one (it gets worse before it gets better). I'm basically going to go through the canon things and then major changes will come.
> 
> This is turning into a SLOW slow burn.
> 
> I like that.
> 
> Tysm for reading!!


	10. (・_・;) Σ(°ロ°)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warren's seriously a sweetheart. He wants to help. And he will. He knows it.

**_2.36am_ **

_you said youd help me if I needed anythibg right?????_

Warren reads the text again. And again.

_Is that really him?_

**_2.38am_ **

Nathan?

_Is this some fucked up joke?_

**_2.38am_ **

come ovr 

**_2.39am_ **

doors open

It’s so out of nowhere that it takes him by surprise.

Warren frowns at his phone.

He probably shouldn’t go. To be quite honest it seems like the wrong thing to do. _Yes_ , he promised himself that he’d find out what the fuck is going on but this looks sketchy as hell. What does Nathan want from him so late at night?

Against his better judgment Warren decided to get up. He throws on a hoodie. It’s chilly in his room even though the heater’s turned up to the max. 

He locks his door behind him and puts the key in his pocket. 

He breathes in through his nose.

Warren feels really anxious at times but this is stressful on a whole new level. He feels as though something bad is about to happen.

He exhales quietly.

He walks up to Nathan’s door and puts his hand on the handle.

_Here goes nothing._

It’s dark inside besides the faint moonlight shining through the curtains. 

Nathan’s sitting on his couch. 

He looks up at Warren when he enters. 

_He looks like shit._

Nathan’s tapping his foot. There’s blush spreading around his cheeks and Warren can see it even in such bad lighting. 

Warren closes the door and shuffles awkwardly further into his room. 

‘You need to talk to Caulfield. As soon as you can.’

His voice is low and smooth and it doesn’t disrupt the quiet around them. 

‘What? Why?’

Warren’s really fucking confused to be honest. 

‘We really don’t have that much time and I’m seriously not gonna sit here and explain everything but-’

Nathan stops for a moment and looks at Warren. 

God, he really does seem tired.

Nathan looks away from him. 

He draws a shuddering breath.

‘I know what happened to Rachel. Do you wanna know where she is?’

His voice breaks near the end.

The silence is deafening and heavy but Warren’s willing to wait. 

_This seems really, really bad._

‘She’s at the junkyard somewhere and-’

_What._

Warren opens his mouth, then closes it. 

_What?_

There’s no fucking way.

Right? 

What the actual fuck.

He opens his mouth again then closes it.

Nathan stands up from the couch and turns away towards the window. 

‘And it’s _my_ fault.’

No fucking way.

_This can’t be real._

What the fuck?

‘I-I’m not sure I understand.’

Nathan turns around in one swift motion.

‘It’s all my fault’

Warren takes a step forward.

Nathan looks straight up manic right now.

His hands are trembling hard enough for Warren to notice.

‘She’s dead because of me.’

Warren blinks.

He wonders for a brief moment if maybe he’s dreaming.

‘Caulfield is a nosy bitch. She needs to stop snooping around or he’s-’

A shuddering exhale.

‘Jefferson’s gonna fucking kill her.’

Nathan _really_ looks at him now.

It’s so intense.

He looks terrified to the core.

Warren’s not sure what he should say to that.

There’s so much he doesn’t fucking understand but Nathan looks genuinely scared. He seems so small and burdened in that moment, as if everything that he’s just told Warren is actually weighing him down.

He looks a bit hopeful too. Like Warren could maybe save him from whatever’s haunting him.

It’s all so fucking confusing.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I- fuck, Graham! Listen to what I’m saying! Caulfield needs to back the fuck off. This isn’t fucking funny anymore! Jefferson’s starting to fucking notice that she’s poking around and he will need her gone. Don’t you fucking understand? He’s coming after me! He won’t stop there, it doesn’t even fucking matter anymore! He’s gonna have to make sure she keeps her mouth shut.’

Nathan’s pacing around the room now.

‘She can’t keep _shit_ to herself! You get it? He can’t just blackmail her! He’s gonna need her out of the picture as soon as possible. She’s gonna fucking disappear just like.. fuck! He’s gonna push out some fucking story about her running away or some shit just like he did with Rachel and- fuck! This is so bad Graham, you don’t even have a clue!’

What the _actual_ fuck.

_Holy fucking shit._

It’s so hard to process everything that Nathan has just said. 

Warren feels so fucking overwhelmed that he could throw up.

Nathan’s still walking from one side of his room to the other in a nervous manner. He runs his hand through his hair.

Suddenly he stops dead in his tracks.

There’s a slight buzzing sound coming from one of his pockets. 

Warren and Nathan lock their eyes. 

He pulls his phone out of his pocket.

_He picks up._

_‘Nathan’_

Warren knows who the voice belongs to. There’s no doubt.

‘We were supposed to talk today, Nathan.’

Warren moves closer to Nathan who’s just standing in the middle of the room, not daring to move a muscle. His sense of dread is growing and overwhelming him more and more with every passing second.

‘You used to be so innocent. So _precious_ to me. I thought you understood me. But you just keep _disappointing_ _me_ Nathan.’

Jefferson lets out a quiet sigh.

‘I thought maybe you just weren’t thinking straight and we could work it out.’

Warren takes a step closer to Nathan and reaches out.

‘You’ve brought this onto yourself.’

Warren grabs Nathan’s arm as gently as he can but it doesn’t stop the boy from flinching.

‘I’ll see you in a bit. You can’t hide from me forever Nathan.’

_Beep._

Warren takes the phone out of his hand and puts it in his pocket. 

Nathan looks like he’s on the verge of crying. 

Warren’s just as fucking terrified as Nathan is right now. If everything he said is true they’re in deep shit. It’s _way_ fucking worse than Warren thought it’d be.

‘We’re gonna go to my room now, okay? We’re gonna work it out. Together. I promise.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took me SO LONG to write!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> I've been working on it for the past week and I'm still not fully happy with it but it's been the hardest one to write so far (its also the longest).
> 
> From now on we are gonna have loads of character development and also our babies are finally gonna become closer!!!!!!
> 
> ty for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> much love


	11. (╥﹏╥)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just....... pain

They’ve been in his room for the past hour.

Nathan’s been pretty much crying the whole time while trying to explain what the  _ fuck  _ is even happening.

He’s sitting on Warren’s bed covered in one of his blankets.

Warren can’t wrap his head around anything that he’s just heard.

Jefferson has been drugging underaged girls and taking photos of them for months now. And Nathan, Nathan has been helping him. 

Warren shudders.

Rachel died in the dark room. 

_ Jesus fucking christ. _

Then there’s Nathan.

Warren still doesn’t understand a lot but he feels like everything makes so much more sense now. 

Nathan has been getting drugged too. 

Jefferson has a folder of him.

Warren feels nauseous just thinking about it. 

Everything’s so fucking messed up.

Nathan’s breathing harshly and he looks so broken Warren’s heart is  _ literally _ hurting for him.

‘We’re gonna look for Max first thing in the morning, okay?’

Warren’s voice is gentle but tainted with concern.

Nathan nods slightly and it’s almost unnoticeable but it’s there. 

It’s enough.

‘You wanna go to sleep now?’

Nathan nods. 

He gets up and moves towards the door.

Warren frowns.

Where is he going?

‘Where are you going?’

Nathan turns around and it’s almost awkward.

‘Uh- to my room?’

His voice is raspy and  _ so so so _ tired.

‘I don’t want to make you like, uncomfortable or anything but I don’t think it’d be safe for us to sleep there.’

Nathan looks confused now like he’s not quite sure what to make of what Warren’s saying. 

‘ _ Us? _ ’

It’s small and quiet.

Nathan won’t even look at him.

‘Dude you- I’m not leaving you alone, no fucking way.’

Warren steps closer to him.

‘I can grab whatever you need from your room but I’m not letting you go in there alone right now.’

Nathan finally looks up at him.

‘Don’t need anything.’

‘Take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.’

Nathan doesn’t even try to argue with him.

He gets under the covers and falls asleep within literally 2 minutes (not that Warren’s watching him or anything).

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's taking me so long to write new chapters but i've been so busy in a bad way lately it feels like i don't even have any energy to write things and when i do im so unhappy with them that i delete them.  
> forgive me!   
> its just that i either dont like the interaction or i feel like im moving too fast and they arent READYY
> 
> i hope all of u r having a good day,  
> sorry again,  
> much love  
> -L


	12. (눈_눈)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warren's done.............. same

Warren texts Joyce first thing in the morning.

**_7.43am_ **

So sorry Joyce I won’t be able to make it today, it’s an emergency. 

Warren looks at Nathan who’s sleeping peacefully on his bed. He’s hidden underneath the covers, the only visible part of his body being his head. There’s a slight flush on his cheeks that stands out against the pale skin. 

_ He looks so calm right now. _

**_7.45am_ **

don’t worry about it sweetheart, you’ve got the day off :))

Warren closes his eyes for a second.

He slept for just three hours. He felt exhausted but- there was  _ the anxiety.  _ The restlessness. The need to check up on Nathan.

They were in deep shit.

Warren  _ really  _ doesn’t know how to work it out. There is no way out. __

But he had promised him they’d find a way out.

Somehow.

Warren opens his eyes. 

It’s raining again. The day’s gloomy and even with the opened window the air in the room is thick and humid. Warren can feel it sticking to him. It’s stifling.

Max hasn’t responded to any of his texts. 

They’re gonna have to find her today though.

_ Somehow. _

Warren feels the urge to take a shower. Get himself clean. Wash the night away.

He gets up and starts looking for his showering kit.

Nathan lets out a sigh in his sleep.

Warren looks at him for the last time before going to the bathroom.

*** * ***

Warren’s about to open the door to his room when he hears footsteps.

He turns his head around and-

Oh fuck. 

_ Fuck. _

‘Warren, right?’

Jefferson pushes his glasses up his nose and looks at him as though he knows about everything. 

Warren gets a sinking feeling but takes his hand off the door handle and turns slightly towards him.

He settles on a nod. He doesn’t think he could get any words out right now even if he wanted to.

‘Sorry to bother you  _ Warren _ but have you seen Nathan Prescott? He didn’t show up for our meeting yesterday after school so I thought I should check up on him.’

_ Fuck. _

Fuck. Fuck.

‘No sir, um- I haven’t seen him around lately.’

‘Right. Well, in case you do please let me know. He’s been very  _ troubled _ lately, I’m deeply worried about him.’

‘Uh- of course.’

‘Thank you Warren.’

Jefferson smiles at him warmly and walks away.

Warren feels sick to his stomach.

Fuck, okay.

At least he bought them some more time.

Right. 

He opens the door and closes it behind him gently.

Nathan’s still asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello,  
> sorry once again for how slowly i'm writing this  
> im going through like a reallyh shitty comedown rn and this is all i have  
> i dont even have the energy to re read it and check if everything's fine sooooooo,,, yes  
> not sure when i will write the next chapter bc next week is gonna be even more rough and all the comedowns r probs gonna make me sluggish eh  
> hope everyones doing fine  
> xxxxxxxx  
> -L


	13. 凸( ` ﾛ ´ )凸   (-_-)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they go their seperate ways,,,,,,,,,,,,,, again

‘This is so fucking dumb, she could be anywhere right now!’

Nathan’s squeezing his right wrist really tight with his left hand. His breaths are uneven and he looks scared for his life.

_Well, he’s got a reason to be._

‘It’s- _look_ , it’s fine we’ll find her and tell her about everything, okay? It’s gonna be fine. I swear.’

Nathan shifts his gaze for a second and studies his face, then looks back at the trees in the distance. 

‘We’re fucked.’

He looks so anxious, Warren wishes he could somehow make it all go away.

_This fucking sucks._

‘ _Fuck_ ’ 

Nathan moves his left hand to his hair now and grips it tightly.

‘I can’t fucking do this.’

He takes a step back. Then another one.

‘There’s no way- no _motherfucking_ way we can prove anything.’

Warren thinks of what to say to that. Except for maybe like, _the first time in his life_ he doesn’t know what to say. Nathan’s right. Suddenly it dawns on him and overwhelms him so much he forgets how to breathe. There’s no way they’re gonna work it out. No matter what will happen they’re utterly _fucked_.

He looks at Nathan except he isn’t there anymore. He’s walking away towards the dorms.

‘No! Wait- Nathan, come on.’

He keeps walking.

_Fuck shit fuck._

‘I don’t know what to do either! Okay? I don’t know what the fuck we can do. I have no fucking clue. But _fuck you,_ I’m trying to help you! You’re the one who’s making it difficult!’

Nathan stops and turns around. He doesn’t look like himself anymore. He’s angry, more mad than Warren has ever seen him.

‘No fuck _yo u_ _,_ Gayram. I’m not here to feed your stupid fucking saviour complex! I don’t even give a shit anymore. Jefferson can kill me for all I care, fuck you and that stupid bitch! It’s all her fucking fault anyway.’

And with that he walks away. 

Warren groans. 

_Fuck._

Nathan’s completely unpredictable. One second he’s sleeping in his bed and telling him about all the shit that’s happened to him and the other he’s yelling at him and telling him to fuck off. 

Warren rubs his eyes.

_Gonna have to figure something out on my own._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one step forward, two steps back  
> im sorry im taking so long to write new chapters but i kinda didnt know what should happen since the last chapter but i finally figured it out  
> also ive been so fucking busy with uni stuff and just life in general  
> also im still a lil bit on acid so in case sum doesnt make sense im sorry  
> this is seriously my first free hour in the past like,,, 2 weeks  
> hope u guys like it, a longer chapter is coming- i promise - especially since now i know what i wanna write :>  
> ty for reading  
> x  
> -L


	14. (¬_¬'')ԅ(￣ε￣ԅ)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warren's still trying to help

There’s really nothing they could’ve done. If Warren will manage to somehow get Caulfield to stop snooping around they’re gonna be golden. Nathan hopes they will leave it alone. At least now Warren knows about everything. Even if- no.  _ When  _ Jefferson gets to Nathan they’ll be safe and he will be held accountable because  _ Warren knows about everything. _ It’s a scary thought but at the same time it keeps him strong. Makes him want to keep going even though he knows he doesn’t have much time left.

He heads towards the door to his room. He needs to call Jefferson. Get him busy for a bit. Make sure he doesn’t have the time to think about Caulfield right now. 

He closes the door behind him as gently as he can. He doesn’t want anyone to know that he’s around. He’s gonna fix everything.  _ Alone.  _

He looks around for his phone. Except…

_ Fuck. _

Fuck!

Graham has it. 

How is he supposed to find Jefferson now.

He doesn’t want to go to the dark room. Doesn’t think he could even if he wanted to.

_ He should be at the vortex party today.  _

_ It’s my only chance. _

He grabs one of his hoodies off of his bed and lets out a sigh. 

He can fix it.

He has to.

He gets out of his room and locks the door behind him.

He whips his head around when he hears them.

They both get quiet once they notice him.

‘What are you doing in my dorm?’

It’s not what he really wants to say. What he  _ needs _ to say.

But he suddenly feels so much rage. 

Why the fuck does the worst shit always happen to him?

And Caulfield... if it wasn’t for her they wouldn’t have to be here right now. 

‘You are such a nosy bitch, Max!’

She’s made everything  _ oh so fucking _ complicated.

‘Stop right there, Nathan!’

He’s walking towards her.

She needs to leave this alone. It’s none of her fucking business.

‘Don’t tell me what to do!’

Suddenly there’s a hand on his shoulder and- of fucking course.

Warren’s standing right in front of him.

Nathan’s fuming but suddenly everything hits him, all at once.

He doesn’t want to die.

Not like this.

He still gives a shit.

‘Max, I got this.’

Nathan feels dread pooling in the base of his stomach.

‘Nathan’

He doesn’t want to look at him,  _ fuck this. _

There’s a lump in his throat.

He feels so vulnerable, especially out in the open like this. He wants to disappear.

Everything feels so wrong.

He shakes Warren’s hand off of his shoulder. 

He can’t be here right now.

Warren reaches for him again but before he actually touches him Nathan pulls away. 

He’s looking between Warren, Caulfield and Price. 

Warren’s eyebrows are drawn together. 

‘Why is he acting so fucking weird?’

Price looks at Warren expectantly and it’s too much.

They’re talking about him like he isn’t there. Like he’s some wild fucking animal that doesn’t understand what they’re saying. Like he’s completely unpredictable.

He makes a run for it. He manages to get to the door before there’s a hand on his wrist.

He feels trapped.

‘Don’t fucking touch me!’

There’s just panic. Nothing else. 

‘Please, no. Stop, I’m sorry. Just- leave me alone, please.’

Even he can hear just how desperate he sounds.

The hand moves to his shoulder and turns him around gently.

He closes his eyes. He doesn't want to look at them right now. He wants to pretend he’s having a fucking meltdown  _ (again) _ in the comfort of his own room, not here, not around them.

He feels violated. 

Dirty and useless. 

He can’t keep it together. Even now.

It feels like he can go from livid to a complete mess in seconds.

The hand starts cautiously rubbing small circles on his skin.

He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you earlier, I just-’

A quiet exhale.

‘I didn’t realise how much this was affecting you. Not like  _ this,  _ anyway. I know we will figure this out. I was wrong, okay? I’m sorry. We will fix it. I swear. I’m sorry.’

He opens his eyes slowly.

Warren’s eyes are staring into his. There’s so much concern on his face that for a second Nathan wonders if Warren is even talking to _ him _ .

‘Give me my phone.’

Warren frowns.

‘It’s in my room, but dude, I’m not just gonna give it to you when you’re like this. No fucking way.’

Nathan blinks. 

Why is Graham making everything so goddamn difficult?

‘Come on Nathan, we’ll help.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im trying to figure this out but its getting a bit tricky  
> a bit of a longer chapter  
> they're getting better  
> i promiseeee  
> ty for reading   
> xxxxxx


End file.
